[He has plenty of real friends! In fact, he'd hazard a guess that he has more friends than some obnoxious nosepicker who lost his protagonist powers in a galaxy universe far, far away.

But that's neither here nor there, because friendship isn't what's at stake here.]

Is it? But who would you rather be responsible for your good afternoon? Is it me?

[Because you're going to have a bad time if it is.]

I did! I saw it when I was packing, in fact!

[No, no, that won't do. He'll catch that free hand in those threatening chopsticks and will proceed to... eat the peach. Because "compost" is not going to be code for "Gintoki's stomach." Not today.

But he will keep talking with his mouth full.]

Luckily for me, it hasn't gone bad! Aaa, but thank you for your concern, soap opera-san.